Injury and depression

I’ve been off skates for a few weeks and missing practice for even longer. I’ve had a nagging little foot injury that always seemed like it needed “just a little more time to heal”. Only it never did. And missing practice really brought me down, emotionally. Why couldn’t I get through this? The pain would go away and then come back, resetting my thoughts on how bad it was. Eventually though the pain stayed and then got worse – I needed a cane just to get around.

Finally I decided to heed Rose’s advice and call a doctor, but my doctor was out of the office for several weeks. After jumping through some hoops I got an appointment. And it was something simple – plantar fasciitis. The doctor just said to rest my feet for a bit, to get arch supports for my shoes, and to never go without arch support even at home.

So the depression is lifting – there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But I feel like i wasted time – I have 6 weeks until surgery. Have to fit in as much as I can until then.

Unplanned Delay

I was sick between the last post and now, and I finally got better.  Yay!  Time to skate again! I was very happy about this.  Two weeks feels like forever.  So about a week ago I’m cruising around the rink a little slower than usual…. not entirely perfectly healthy yet and I can feel the leftover lethargy sapping my reserves…. but we’re going to go around one last time before we head for home.  It’s a good song.  Let’s do this thing! I happily and smoothly take the corner to get out onto the floor……..and WHAMMM!!!! The floor very unkindly reached up and grabbed my ankle and I splatted in an ungainly sprawl flat on my back.  Oops.  How embarrassing.

But quick as a blink I got up and proceeded to do that which I intended to do…

And then I noticed my new friend pain.

And now I have been to the chiropractor twice this week to fix it.  The good news is I have found a good derby-supportive doc to tug and crack me back into shape.   The bad news is that I suddenly remembered very vividly exactly what it felt like when I couldn’t roll over in bed once upon a time…. the excruciating lightning-like moments of my life flashing before my eyes are receeding now.  I can get up again.  I almost don’t hurt.  I got scared for a minute there.

Dear Work

Dear Work,

I’ve been wanting to say this for a while, but you are not my life. You are not what inspires me and brings me joy. You are the thing I do that allows me to do the things that inspire me and bring me joy. For example, I did not switch to a 6am shift just because I wanted to get a head start on the day. No. I did it so I could get out at 3pm occasionally, giving me time to hit the rink and skate. Unlike today where I had to stay and do paperwork for an hour.

Remember when I was coming in on Sunday, just to get some stuff done in the quiet? That wasn’t out of love. I knew those hours needed to be scheduled somewhere on the calendar and working late is just all sorts of bad for my attitude. That’s right – I’m happier coming in on Sunday than working an hour late each day.

So, let’s come to an agreement. If I can have my little schedule I’ll get shit done like you wouldn’t believe. If I have to keep working late, well, I’ll still get it done but it will be at a level that does not boggle the mind.

Thanks,
Valiant

It’s a good Friday

Saucy Kate and I have a tradition dating back the entire decade we’ve known each other (and actually further on my side) – on Good Friday we have bacon cheeseburgers. Usually it’s a baked bacon cheeseburger thing she got from her mom, but we weren’t up for making it this year. So we headed on down to a local bar for happy hour burgers to celebrate another year. I actually started doing it some time in the late 90′s, so 10 years for her and about 15 for me – it’s become a serious thing. But missing practice did give me another day to rest my knee.

“What’s that?” you might say, “You hurt your knee.” Yes, dear reader, I did. It all started on Tuesday. I headed over to the rink near work for the afternoon skate. Now this rink has a surface that is less grippy than what I’m used to and I’ve been sliding a lot. I had an extra set of outdoor wheels that I decided to use there because it would be more work and I’m a masochist. This resulted in my having one hell of a workout – legs totally sort and worn out. It was a good feeling. And good came of it too – I realized that I had been slipping on my crossovers even on the other track. But that didn’t injure me.

The next day at work was a hectic day. The senior manager was out so I stepped in to help with some of her duties, plus we had system problems and a lot of work. No time to do anything. I ended up getting pulled into a series of back to back meetings without a restroom break. When the last call finished I was hurrying through the break room, finding holes in the crowd to zip past. Then a big guy from another area decided he needed to be in my path. You know the type – 6’3″ or so, 275-300 pounds, thinks everyone needs to watch out for him just because he’s big. Without thinking I got low, dropped my shoulder and planted my right foot to check him out of my way, only halfway through I realized “Work! Not on skates! Abort! Abort!”, twisting my knee as I stopped.

It hurt, but I amused myself with the thought of him flying through the air, surprised expression on his face.

Pushing it

So today….is a new day.  I wasn’t ready to go to derby practice.  I knew that even though I’ve gone skating 3 or 4  times since the last official practice complete with coaches and derby girls, I still didn’t have my t stops down.  I’ve gained a lot of strength and endurance and balance, however.  I’m now able to skate through entire songs as opposed to twice around the rink and collapse into an ungraceful heap on the bench for a 15 minute breather whereupon I turn into a wall flower.  I think I’m skating about twice as much as I was able to two weeks ago.  I can wash, rinse, repeat for an hour and 15 minutes now, and some of it backwards, and the rests are shorter.

I ended up at the regular rink session instead of at the official practice.  I just couldn’t shake the more experienced skater’s words to me last time:  I want you to be able to stop before I let you out on the track.  I took her seriously.  I’ve been working on my skills.  I think I can get at least two more skates in before the next one.  I think I can be fairly solid by then.  In any event, each time I go, I’m stronger.  My left leg is probably going to be sore tomorrow.

Now… it may sound like I’m really focusing on this whole skating thing a lot…. and I am.  I have some really serious stuff upsetting me and I’m taking it onto the floor and exhausting myself.  It gives me mental peace for an hour and 15 minutes.  It gives me an outlet.  I can’t worry about anything when I’m focused on not bouncing across the floor on my butt and taking out innocent children.  If it sounds like I’m pushing myself, I am.  I stop when my legs start sending out memos to my brain alerting it that they are going to give out in T minus 2 minutes.  And they mean business.  I’m skating up to the point of muscle fatigue.  I hit that carpet at the end and just about fall on my face trying to get to the bench.  I’m that shaky by then.

The next plan of action involves the weather cooperating.  I bought some outdoor wheels yesterday and cheerfully tra la la’d my way home with the plan of conquering the nice little park nearby….well, after it stops raining.   Valient immediately says to me… did you get bearings? Momentary pause for thought and a mental forehead slap.   Uh…. no? (Doh!) I forgot that those red round plastic shiny things have other little round metal things in the middle that hold them onto the skates with the proper use of a skate tool. 

Um, yeah.  We may need to do something about that.  Back to the skate shop I went to correct this grievous oversight.

Go me.  I lived through today.

Pro and cons

Right now a million little thoughts are running through my head, trying to convince me that I can skip practice:

“I’m tired”
“It was a tough week at work”
“I haven’t had any time to relax”
“I didn’t sleep well”

That’s what I hear, sitting in my chair killing some time before gathering my gear. And if I were to write a list of the Pro’s and Con’s regarding practice the Con side would definitely win on numbers. But it is not just a numbers game. It is a game of emotion. And the Pro side has the emotion in a single entry:

“I love it”

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

Spring Break

I have a place I like to skate on weekdays because it’s close to work and they’re pretty relaxed about how you can skate if attendance is low. Which it usually is on weekdays, because most people don’t go skating at 3. I took Saucy Kate there last week and she loved it so now I have a skate buddy for that. That’s where we were today, only we didn’t plan on it being Spring Break. It was packed. Still we skated. It was important on many levels that we at least put on skates and knee pads and roll, even if we didn’t totally gear up.

Why was it important? Well, beyond just getting better at skating and being more fit, Saucy Kate and I both have a lot of stuff going on. Can’t speak for her but skating takes me to another place, and while not always a happy one (I dare you to say the place you go after you do knee drops until you can’t stand is particularly happy)  it is a way to deal with the stresses.

Anyways it was kind of a bonus skate for us. We had planned to go see a movie with Rose, but Rose told me last night, just as I was snuggled in my warm bed talking to her on the phone, that she wouldn’t be able to catch the move. I had to get up, pack my gear, find a different outfit for the day to make changing after work easier, let SK know.

But it was worth it. As it always is.